I have decided that TUESDAY is a great day to begin anew with the diet. Most people take the weekend to eat like the proverbial cow, but I picked the last two months.
For whatever reasons (which go in cycles and, I'm sure, have something to do with my sense of self worth) I gain weight at alarming rates, thereby proving to myself that yes indeed, I'm a fat ugly cow who deserves no love or respect.
BAH. FEH. FIE on't. Tuesday is the day, because it isn't possible to get any fatter. And I will do it by eating healthfully.
Do you hear, O Gods of Anorexia and Media Expectations? I will vanquish thee, bring the unholy demons of high cholesterol and blood pressure to bay and finally to ruin with the almighty book of South Beach.
Beware, ask not for whom the broccoli tolls, it tolls for thee!
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