things I can't live without...

In the half waking land between snooze alarm goings-off, I thought of something interesting. I elaborated on it in my own mind while getting ready this morning. What things can't I live without?



Aside from the Big Four (Friends, Shelter, Sustenance, Clothing) I absolutely cannot live without:

coffee - without which I would be lost
long black sweaters - without which I couldn't maintain my spooky/alternative look
mobile phone - without which I feel cut off, isolated, and alone
high heels - without which I'd just be slighty taller than average, and not of heroic proportion
french fries - without which I would die of depression
mayonnaise - without which I cannot eat french fries
escapist fantasy life - without which I'd go crazy and die of ennui
fantasy authors - without which I wouldn't have my escapist fantasy life
iTunes - without which I would be unable to experience the delight that is
musicals - without which I would lose my primary source of angst and drama
contact lenses - wihtout which I'd still look like the tru geek I am
email - without which I'd never have amusing spam - or contact with far flung friends
Halowe'en - without which my inner child would come out in less healthy ways
car - without which one cannot function in the Bay Area
Apple Computer - without which I wouldn't be able to maintain my operating system sense of superiority
acrylic nails - without which I couldn't have my every-three-week-dose of self inflicted pain
hair color - without which I would actually look my age
the internet - wihtout which I couldn't expand my repertoire of useless knowledge
too many interests - without which I could not complain of having too little time and avoid bigger issues

it's late...

And yes, I can't sleep AGAIN.

So I made little edits to my template and profile, messed around a bit with my homepage, and am seriously considering designing posters for my dream shows.

My biggest problem is that I have too many things to be interested in. Not only am I plotting the coolest gingerbread house ever, still working on my second crochet project (two more whole rows Bunkie!), and planning on intensive Japanese, but also singing in choir, taking voice lessons, and undergoing two forms of bodywork (one once a month, one every week), but apparently I have too much time to sleep, so I'm wanting a professional digital camera, planning on a digital video camera, designing my [next] wedding dress in my head (no No NO - no wedding in the forseeable future, just a design for a dress), creating a whole new wardrobe in my head, thinking of a trip to - in this order - Durango, Portland, and Italy, working out two monologues just in case I decide to audition for something soon, really wanting to volunteer to staff the company booth at MacWorld, and did I mention I'm reading three books at once?

So in reading all that over, not only have I determined that I really should learn how to type, but also that I can't ever complain about not having enough time - at least not this week.

it's the blues...

Blues for a grey day - not that I'm all that unhappy - except for my weight, but really, what woman isn't? But then I'm also delaying writing peer reviews - which require thinking, and lots of it.

A Blossom Fell | Diana Krall
A Woman Alone with the Blues | Peggy Lee
A Woman's Intuition | Beverly Kenney
Angel | Sarah McLachlan
Don't Get Around Much Anymore | Patti Page
Here's That Rainy Day | Helen Merrill
How Long Has This Been Going On? | Karrin Allyson
I Don't Stand A Ghost Of A Chance With You | Diana Krall
I Fall In Love Too Easily | Shirley Horn
I'm a Fool to Want You | Dinah Washington
I'm Through With Love | Arthur Prysock
I've Got A Crush On You | Ella Fitzgerald
If I Had You | Diana Krall
Lost Mind | Diana Krall
Peel Me A Grape | Diana Krall
Reaching for the Moon | Ella Fitzgerald
Sufferin' With The Blues | Roomful Of Blues
The Love You Lost On The Way | Roomful Of Blues
The Meaning Of The Blues | Karrin Allyson
What Will I Tell My Heart? | Billy Eckstine
Wild is the Wind | Cat Power

ghosts...

As I sit at my desk, taking a caffeine infusion break, enjoying the aroma of the meyer (sp?) lemons a thoughtful co-worker brought in, and listening to "Rock Lobster" the ghosts of days past come and catch in my hair.

It's the ghosts of smells that waft memories into our brains. Like the smell of Gloria Vanderbilt (before being sold at Long's) taking me right back to 7th grade. Hearing a particular showtune bringing memories of greasepaint and aquanet and one of the best flirtations ever and breaking a foot or a toe or throwing out my back during a strenuous back bend. It's the long ago feel of a painful sunburn confirming the certainty that I want to move somewhere that's foggy, all the time. Even the sight of certain colors of eyeshadow will remind me of times spend dancing my a** off at one of my favorite clubs. Or even the sight of someone's name will slam into me from seven months away. OUCH.

But then, these are only memories, and don't have the teeth or the sickly sweetness which become such a danger to our health and balance and happiness. Fortunately there are always new memories to make.

And I'm blonde again - with slight "ghosts" of the darker pink - which have mercifully turned to light apricot...

O Fortuna...

Today is the first day back in the office after a heavenly week of lying on the sofa and watching every Food Network and E! True Hollywood Story program I could get my hands on. After this productive and useful week, I've determined that I will make a gingerbread house this winter season. Aside from learning Japanese and doing the odd holiday show painting, I have no creative outlet scheduled. The downside of all this creative energy apparently going to waste is that I want to do a flamboyant victorian holiday house - complete with little lights. Hm. 3 stories, with attendant high victorian detailing - windows, etc. and I want it to be completely edible. Woohoo!

13 minutes...

...is a damn long time. At least, in some situations. Like now, for instance. I'm compressing files, and I have 13 interminable minutes in which to wait for my compressed file, so that I may then upload it over a massive internet connection, and then GO HOME.

Now, of course, 13 minutes is way too short for things like driving to Oakland from Castro Valley. Or leaving bleach on my hair - at least if I want it to be platinum instead of mottled reddish yellow. It's too short for watching TV. It's too short for a cat nap.

And other the other hand - it's too darned long to wait for ANYTHING.

tidbits...

Walnuts. Evil little bits of flavorful goodness. Not only are they the absolute end when it comes to cuisine, and not only are they especially good in cakes, cookies, and all sorts of cheese balls, but yours truly is allergic. I was so bummed when I needed to pick out all the walnuts - indeed, every tree nut causes some sort of trouble - but somehow the oil infused the cake and I ended up needing an inhaler any way.

Sparkles. I went this weekend to get my nails redone, and after going through much trauma having the old nails peeled of all the old acrylic covering - my lovely manicurist presented me with the reward of sparkly acrylic powder. I'm all ready for winter!

Vanilla beans - not, thankfuly, allergic. But, divine little bits of these wonderful things make lovely flavors and indeed - smells. I went and bought some new smelly stuff from the Longs in Alameda - and since they didn't have any sort of ginger, which is my smell of choice - I got Vanilla Fantasy. I smell like a sugar cookie. and I've been craving ice cream all day.

A New Crush. Just realized I was dissapointed not to see my NC this weekend when doing concessions for a show. Darn. Not like he'd ever look at me twice - but oh well... How dare people have weddings.

the drive...chapter 3

This morning I found myself in a fugue state, driving along, running into one slight slowdown from 70mph to about 40mph around the Fremont corridor - which is UNHEARD of. This, of course, is due to the holiday today - which most of us don't get, but is nice for those of us who do commute. (I really do need to move to San Jose or something).

So, during my fugue state, in which I usually think of everything, including why European men seem to be way more affectionate than American men, the fact that I've just gotten something in my eye which is excruciatingly uncomfortable, wondering how ex boyfriends are doing, and if my hair really looks a pink as I think it does, I was thinking of holidays. Specifically American holidays, and the obvious effect it has on traffic - since that's what I'm stuck on lately.

So today is Veteran's Day, formerly known as Armistice day, which has an interesting if truncated article on Wikipedia (click the title link above). I think it's interesting where our holidays come from, and it gives me respite from researching herbal poison or grades of nobility, or my favorite authors. It's telling that we haven't any clue what the orgins of our holidays really are, and don't much care except that we get to work in half the time (don't get me wrong, this is the BEST PART), get presents, get off school, and basically have an excuse to barbecue. Not that I'm a big fan of military things, even though both grandfathers served in two wars, and there's a great military tradition in my family (including protesting all things military)...

Harumph - I think about the most random things...

caffeine is...

...THE greatest discovery of all time, up to and including mayonnaise, deep fried things, and the people who actually read my blog and make relevant comments.

Huzzah for you all (all three of you)!

But back to caffeine. This miracle chemical compund atom thingie is singularly responsible for my getting up in the morning, getting into my car, and driving for an hour plus down to my (admittedly) very cool job. It cures lethargy, thinning hair, national debt, and that sick thing called apathy. It's fairy dust that magically drives out the demons of allergy induced headache. It adds immeasurably to things like tea, chocolate, brown and not-so-brown soda pop, and of course coffee. And, it obviously infuses the nectar-of-the-gods - Mountain Dew. witness the fact that the vending machine here always runs out of it three days after it's restocked.

This morning I woke up, bleary-eyed from a hedonistic night of reading (I couldn't put my book down until 2 am) at a friend's house (she has two cats and a dog, and I'm allergic - a fact I keep forgetting because I love animals) with a ferocious headache. I've now consumed supplements with caffeine and aspirin, and three giant cups of coffee - and I feel much better.

me gusta JAVA!

special election blues...

That's right, fellow residents of the great State of California (read here - State of CONFUSION) -

'Twas the eve of the Special Election, and all through the house,
The discordant music of clashing ideologies rang.
One sayeth yea, and another no! for thou art a louse
if thy vote goeth against the grain.

With nary a considered opinion backed by research,
but by visceral emotion, as is the wont of willful ignorance,
the opinions caromed and fell against the deafest ears,
thy religion, thy conviction fell short of rational parlance.

Did I just write all that? What DRECK - but at least it comes close to capturing what I, listening to the "Xena, Warrior Princess" soundtrack from season one, am feeling at the moment. Not only have my family all LOST THEIR MINDS, but half of them can't be bothered to vote. And those who do, vote vociferously, and browbeat (or at least try to) this poor little socialistic and completely left leaning person. FEH. I shall vote my mind - in the most left of ways, and the conservatives bedamned...

And I can't find an objective explanation ANYWHERE about all thes state measures. So much for an informed populace.

VOTE FOR PEDRO

apathy...

I'd have to say that my biggest, hugest, most gi-mongous pet peeve right at the moment is apathy. I heard on NPR this morning that voter turnout is expected to be 40% or some sad number like that. Never mind the people who can't be bothered to register to vote. Sure, citizens of this state can hardly read because someone else didn't vote or didn't register. Never mind that we're creating a world for our younger siblings and our children, and our grandchildren (provided we don't blow it all up by then). Never mind that since people in California haven't learned to THINK for themselves, we ended up with an idiot for a governor. Never mind that the whole country is made out of SHEEP, and ended up with a brain dead goat leading us off into the fire of oily oblivion....

And another thing... a corollary to the apathetic phenomenon - people who talk out their rectum without having any CLUE what they're talking about. Just yesterday I was watching the appendices to LOTR, and what does my companion of the moment say - I just love watching appendages. I was amazed. He actually meant it. Yeah, let's just watch those appendages, and never mind the big words like vocabulary, or dictionary, or the ability to *&##$ READ. And speaking on subjects that one obviously has no knowledge of? And to a person who actually (horror of horrors) reads? Dear GOD, I weep for the future, if this is what is considered ACHIEVEMENT. Sure, I can't spell for beans, nor can I type, and I can't add half the time, but I don't pretend I can just to impress people....

damn it. too much caffeine and righteous fervor.

FEH!

the drive...chapter 2

Now that I'm finally waking up, I have a little time to ruminate on the horror that is commuting to work.

I'm continually amazed at the stupidity of California drivers. Not only do we as a state drive way too freaking fast, but as soon as it rains, or even when it's a little bit foggy, everyone loses what passes for their minds. This morning I experienced the gamut of dumbness. People driving too slow, because they're afraid of hydroplaning. People diving way too fast, or just plain falling asleep and running into guard rails and perishing in a ball of flame.

This last example was gleaned from the radio, since I know better now than take 680 south on mondays.

Then there are the ones listening to headphones WHILE DRIVING. I mean, really. I've been guilty of listening to my radio way too loud, but at least I don't go into that fugue state that wearing headphones induces in most people. People (after all, this is the Bay Area) putting makeup on while driving. How much brainpower does it take to figure you can put on the mascara when you stop? Apparently waaay more than occurs in the average California mind.

I wish I were in Portland - or better yet, Durango. where a traffic jam is a 5 minute wait at a light...

I don't wanna...drive any more, chapter 1

Drive to work. Two whole days back at work have spoiled me rotten, it seems. And I really only have to work for two hours - not counting drive time....

Which brings me to this topic:

Having been a commuter now for going on 8 months now (since I forgot all about it from before), I wonder what other people do to amuse themselves when in a car alone for an hour or more?

I suppose one can pick one's nose, and fling the result out the window, hoping to hit rude motorcyclists. I find it increasingly fascinating that people think they'reinvisible when in the car. Really, unless one's car windows are darkened past the point of visibility, or unless one is in a limo with aforementioned windows - people can see them! I"ve personally witnessed, over my life in driving, at least ten people actually digging for gold up in their sinus cavities. YUCK.

I know that things get up there, car parts, live bungs, extra booger juice, but does everyone really need to see that stellar technique developed at the age of five?

NO!

fall withdrawal

After returning from a delightful jaunt in the foggy northland, complete with fall colors, japanese maples, mulled cider, best friends, and rain. I'm going through serious withdrawal. California never actually seemed homely (and not in a good way) to me. I mean Home-LY, not Home-Y. And then I realized the only thing keeping me here for real is my job. Don't misunderstand, that a big reason, but I'm getting itchy feet, again....

I doubt I could actually work remotely - but I suppose I might find a way.