stage fright...

... can be sort of explained on Wikipedia's entry on Glossophobia - meaning the fear of speaking in front of people. To those who suffer from stage fright - it extends to performing of any kind. Situations that can and have previously inspired this particular feeling include: recitals, opening nights, proms, first read- or sing- throughs, first dress rehearsals, auditions, either singing or cold read, going to a new place for the first time, and first dates, especially blind dates.

Symptoms can include such things as butterflies, loss of hearing, disctractedness, nausea, gastro-intestinal distress, heart flutterings, catches in the breath, small instances of euphoria, numbness in the hands, gas, and soreness of the abdominal muslces due to holding one's breath.

Other symptoms can also result in the application of far too much makeup and hairspray, which is bad for the pores and the hair. Not to mention the wearing of shorter skirts than usual, higher heels, and the sinking suspicion that none of this is helping anyhow. And then it could result in the feeling that one is wasting one's time anyhow, because one is as ugly as a post after all, and no amount of paint will disguise an ugly post. And then one may just drink too much, and do things she won't be able to tell her friends later.

The best way to counterract some of the more negative effects of stage fright are to; drink before going out, and thereby stave off nerves, apply more makeup and change the clothes a half dozen times, and then go back to the original outfit that you feel comfortable in all day anyhow, take another shower, re-do the hair and curse at the fact that it's STILL raining. Or take a nap and miss the whole thing altogether.

One thinks in fragments:

More lipstick?
Redder Lipstick?
OW!
Goddamn door handle/table edge, oven door, any sharp thing that can be run in to!
Curlers or Iron?
Have I touched up my toes yet?
Crap! Nail polish on carpet!
I need to eat.
I'm going to throw up any minute.
I wish I had done my roots two weeks ahead of time.
GAH! Spray nozzle on fave perfume stick open!
I don't have time to shower again!
I'll just call and say I'm late.
I'll just call and say I'm dead.
I don't have his number!
I need to eat.
I'm going to throw up any minute.
Coffee!
Great, now I'm completely wired.
Goddamn rain!
Maybe if I listen to Bonnie Tyler a hundred times, it'll make the time go faster.
Maybe if I hide he won't notice this giant blemish.
More mascara!
Ow! My eyes!
Crap - contact fell out! Into pot of bright red lipstick! No cleaning solution!
I look like an idiot in my glasses.
I can't see out of my glasses.
I want to cry.
I'll just call and say I'm late.
I'll just call and say I'm dead.
Wait, have I eaten today?
What day is today?
I need to eat.
I'm going to throw up any minute.
Am I really this ugly?
I've got a headache.
I need tea.
I need a cigarette.
I need valium.

I'm so nervous.